Simply Deleting

This morning, I hit the delete button many times! And it feels good. In about an hour, I journeyed through every bookmarked web site on my Chromebook and deleted everything redundant, unimportant, unused and broken. What I was left with were some amazing sites that got lost in the madness. Now, everything is organized into folders that make sense for my life including: minimalism, Library (masters degree sites), faith, cooking, photography, writing, reading, relaxation and meditation, and hobbies. Hobbies seems a little vague and right now only holds a few sites about planting and growing succulents. I'm intrigued but would not really call myself a succulent addict yet! 

Many of my bookmarked sites were thrown into general categories, making them difficult to find. Others were articles or blog posts I'd saved for a specific reason and no longer needed. As I narrowed down the sites I wanted to keep, the folders I needed became obvious and now, looking at my Chrome browser, it feels like a tool, rather than a mind-numbing, time-sucking, device! 

If you're looking to clear some mental clutter, I highly recommend deleting and organizing your bookmarks! Jump bravely into the task. It was much easier than I thought and has renewed my interest in some ideas and activities that really matter to me. Good luck to you!

Simply Cyber

Losing myself in cyberspace is becoming an increasingly normal part of my daily routine. It's impossible for me to watch a television program or ride as a passenger in the car without tapping that red "P" or the blue "F" on my phone. Recently, I've found myself saving, pinning and bookmarking all manner of different sites and videos. Why? Some with the intention to show them to someone else. Some because I want to go back and read more carefully. Some because I see something particularly funny, interesting or amazing and surely I want to see it again at a later date.

Realization hit the other day, when I tried to locate a site I bookmarked recently. I almost never go back to the things I've saved, pinned and bookmarked. They sit there neatly (or not in some cases) organized waiting for me to make use of them as I intended. But they sit idle. Because every time I'm on one device or another I find myself simply browsing and adding more to the already jam packed items I deemed funny, interesting or amazing.

Summer is coming. End of the year (for a teacher and grad student) is upon me, and I'm envisioning how I will use my time this summer. As easy as it is to browse and bookmark, what a time waster. And what's the purpose behind doing it? Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I never tend to go back to things I've already picked out as being funny, interesting or amazing. Instead, I am constantly searching and adding more. Kind of like my old-school collection of cookbooks, many of which have never been used. There is short term entertainment and satisfaction in the collecting but no long term pay off. Perhaps it even adds to my stress level as I try to find what I really need amidst all the things I ever thought might be valuable to me. Additionally, as I browse through my kept craft ideas, articles and recipes...I feel overwhelmed and disappointed in myself that I seem to more of a collector of ideas than a doer or things.

So, this summer will be my summer of cyber change. It's time to simplify, prioritize and use or delete my cyber collections. Rather than adding more to a long list of items I will likely never use, I will spend this summer browsing through my current collections and using or losing what's already there. I'm not quite sure how this process will go. Right now it feels daunting and the perfectionist in me is trying to figure out the "best" way to do it. For now, I feel satisfied publicly declaring my intentions. Step one is to simply stop adding to my abundant collections. Simple? I'm about to find out.

A Simple Diversion

Today I told my husband that he will need to move into his own house when the girls leave for college because his need to consume and my desire to simplify by owning less, do not make good living companions. I'm trying to reduce, while he collects bargains that we don't really need. Lucky for him, one of the girls said, "You can come live with me dad. I like to collect things too." Argh!!

I've discovered over the past few months that simplifying is difficult when life is busy. The advertisers know just how to make you think that an extra crock pot really would help you get 14 dinners cooked in one four hour Sunday afternoon. An appealing thought when one's dinner choices after a 12 hour work day consist of KFC or Mexican take out from the neighborhood restaurant on the corner. Being busy makes me feel like I need more stuff; more things to help me stay organized, more things to help me get everyday chores done faster, more money spent on people to help me take care of all the stuff I already own. It's crazy when you stop to think about it. 

When I'm busy, I stop at the grocery store more often and purchase more things I don't need because I don't take the time to make myself a list or check the pantry before I go. I binge shop on Amazon and Zulily because I'm tired and it's easier to lie in bed and spend money with the push of a button than to get up and get moving. Lack of energy, for me, equals money spent. Spending money is effortless, requires very little mental energy, and makes me feel productive because I've accomplished ordering something that will be delivered to my door in a short 46 hours. 

No wonder people feel like they have to sell all their belongings, move the the country and live in a tiny house to finally relax and breathe. Living in the suburbs of a large city, and working a very hectic job add up to spending money... more often than not, to purchase things that we don't really need. 

Simply Traveling

Simplicity is not in my nature. I have to work at it. Which seems counter intuitive for someone who is trying to live a more calm, balanced, simple life. But whatever, I don't wake up every morning with a calm mind and a gentle focus for my day. Oftentimes, I awaken with at least 147 things running through my head, some connected to my daily to-do list, some random thoughts about something I don't need to think about for another 13 months...some trying to rectify a past issue. Like I said, simplicity is not in my nature. I have to work at it. 

Today I'm preparing for a trip. Which for me is anything but simple. And this one is a particular challenge because the girls and I are traveling without Dax. And we're flying, which the girls haven't done since before they turned 2. Oh, and did I mention that we're renting a car and driving over 7 hours to our final destination once we land. In my heart, I know I can handle it, but my head likes to mess with my heart a bit and today is no exception. 

If it was not for the itchy need to aim for perfection and to try so hard to prepare for every possibility, I would be a lot less mentally consumed this morning. But being a long distance car-traveler. I'm used to being able to throw in last minute items, to pre-purchase snacks, and to bring a variety of just-in-case items with me on the trip. I really don't want to hassle with over packed suitcases and excessive supplies with me on this trip. But it's hard to put the girl scout in me to rest. 

Take for instance the fact that I just spent 10 minutes contemplating whether or not I should take my yoga mat with me or plan or purchasing one once I arrived. It would be heavy and take up a great deal of space in the smallish suitcase I'm trying to stick with as I pack. Can I do yoga without my Chromebook? How will I access my classes? If I take my mat, I need to take my Chromebook. Which would be o.k...because I can write on my Chromebook. But then I need internet service for both of those functions and there really isn't a whole lot of service at my mom's house. So, is it worth it? Could I do my yoga without a mat and without an instructor? Could I write without my laptop? And what about the camera. Photography is supposed to be my hobby. I should really take my camera. But that will make my bag heavy, and then I'll feel obligated to drag it with me wherever I go. Could my phone camera be enough for this trip? Hmmmm...

You see the problem I'm having preparing for this trip. Simple and I are not often close companions.

But I don't want this trip to be about "stuff."  I want it to be a bonding time for the girls and me. I want to spend time in a part of the country that feels like home. I want to visit places we've never been before and enjoy the time I have there. I want to eat good food and take in what's around me. What "stuff," do I need to accomplish these things? Stay tuned...

Simply focusing

This morning during mediation, the instructor asked me to pay attention to the thoughts that break my concentration and to categorize the distractions. Whenever I'm doing yoga or meditating, I try to acknowledge my thoughts and let them go, but this was the first time I considered the source of my distractions.

My first distraction is within my physical environment and it's usually my pets. They either need out or in, want water or food, or simply want to participate in my practice with me...welcome or not. I often cannot do anything about my pets other than learn to tune them out. Even locking myself in a room just creates whining and scratching. My pets and I simply need to accept that yoga and mediation time is meant to be quiet. If I ignore you for a bit, I will make up for it later. 

My second category of distraction is, of course, planning. If there is ever anything that distracts me from being fully present in the moment, its my forward rushing brain, always flitting about from life domain to life domain in a feeble attempt to do what? I'm not sure. Sometimes, I think about work, which is more about guilt over not having completed something or guilt about not always putting work first. 

Sometimes, it's planning how to expand my yoga and meditation practice and how I can get more of it in. Funny thing that one. Here I am trying to get the benefit of my yoga and meditation and I'm thinking about why I don't do it more and how I could do it more in the future. This might possibly be my worst distraction. I wonder how many others get distracted by the future possibilities of the very thing they are trying to focus on doing. Might be a symptom of insanity...who knows. 

Then there's simply the, "What is my plan for the day?" distracting line of thought. That one is pesky and sneaks in when I try to practice in the morning. Occasionally a memory or two sneak in and send my mind wandering around in the past as well. 

I'm working on it. 

Guilt and judgement play a big part in my inability to focus. I've never been able to control my anxiety over opportunity cost and the desire to minimize it as much as possible. Part of this equation involves ruminating over the expectations of others which often conflict with what I really want to spend my time doing. 

But, I'm getting better than I used to be. I'm learning and growing and accepting my mistakes and missteps as opportunities to learn rather than berating myself and stressing out to the point of complete withdrawal. 

There's nothing simple about learning to focus. Time, practice, commitment, patience and priority. Simple, right?

Sneaky Simple

We just disconnected cable today, but shhhh...we didn't tell the girls. How did we pull off this deception with the tweens? Well, we didn't completely cut ourselves off. Through the Roku, we still have access to several services that stream movies and television programs. We can also access live TV from the major networks and several cable networks as well. Though we are still paying for these services, it's significantly cheaper than paying for regular cable. (Goal #1 of simplifying our technological life is to lower our monthly costs. ) 

These new changes give us access to fewer channels and we will no longer have DVR service. Though losing the flexibility to record programs initially stressed me out, I am trying to change my tune. True, I will no longer be able to choose the random hour at which to watch one of the 150 episodes I have recorded.  I will also no longer have 150 little irritating reminders of how little free time I have, calling to me and making me feel guilty. Half the time, when I watch a recorded program, it is to clear off room for more recordings, rather than because I really want to sit down and watch TV. (Goal #2 is of simplifying our technological life is to spend less time watching TV.) Having fewer channels, and no means of recording will force us to more critically analyze how badly we really want to sit in front of the TV. 

When Simple is Hard

It's hard to keep things simple during back to school time. For one thing, our relaxed summer schedule changes drastically. No more late nights, no more sleeping in, no more procrastination of things that need to be completed. 

For our family, everyone's schedule and responsibilities change as the new school year begins. Dad has to resume some of his household chores that he gets a break from during the summer. The girls have to add homework, sports and music practice back into their days. Mom has to go back to trying to balance classroom life and home life. Even the pets have to endure long stretches with no one home. 

Back to school time seems to be anything but SIMPLE. This year, I will be adding graduate course work to my to-do list. I feel the weight of complicated schedules and stressful days on my shoulders already. So, how am I going to work on continuing to simplify my world? Stay tuned and hold on...it may be a bumpy ride!